Saturday, October 5, 2013

Failing as a Home school Parent


That’s right I have failed. Anyone who really knows me knows I hate to fail. I hate not being good at something, I am ok with not being the “best” but I will be good! Not being the best just gives me the drive to keep getting better. Call it “Little Lady Syndrome” (I love having a syndrome because then it looks le-git!), being a defeated first-born, or a closet Type-A personality. Failing isn’t an option!

Teaching the kids to drive has been my Kobayashi Maru: a no-win situation, designed to test my character. I have found my character to be less than stellar, choosing my own survival over the psyche of my children. 

I first realized my inept skills as a driver’s ed teacher while trying to teach Garrett how to drive. We barely made it out of the cal-du-sac when I told him he was going to either kill me or damage my car and to get out and let me drive. I continued through out Garrett’s learning period to approach every intersection, every driving scenario with the phrase, “who/what is going to kill you first?” I felt this got across how scared I was. Was I either going to be killed by him pulling out into traffic? Making a left hand turn, or by his reckless desideratum for driving too close to the curb? I wasn’t sure but I did want him to know that I entered the car envisioning my ambulance ride to the nearest hospital, my need for emergency surgery to possibly amputate an appendage, and how I was going to call into work to explain why I couldn’t come in. These thoughts flooded every moment of driving.
There was yelling and screaming (mostly me), there were tears, there were things said that I could never imagine my parents saying to me. What had happened to the sweet mother I use to be?

With Lauren it wasn’t much better. It was made worse because she was a witness to everything Garrett had to go through and still wasn’t a better driver. I was dumb struck! How was I going to do this again? Needless to say I failed again, my character weighed and still found wanting. What a horrible mother. I did try to be better. I tried to channel my dad would just sit in the passenger seat and twitch his finger one way or the other to let me know if I was starting to drift out of my lane. I tried to just give into the idea that emergency surgery wouldn’t be so bad, and that work would understand.

I have run the scenario over and over in my head, attempting to redefine the problem so this test will not end with my utter failure. Was it because we let them read too much? The kids were always reading whenever we drove somewhere, they never paid attention to where we were going, decisions we were making as we drove and how the car was suppose to stay in the lane. Was it because we live in a busy city, and not the two lane, one flashing light town I grew up in that I was so nervous? Or was it societies fault? Once cell  phones came into play the kids would be busy texting their friends etc…and since you can’t text and drive why not have mom and dad drive you everywhere so you don’t miss anything?
Just as Captain Kirk said, "I don't believe in the no-win scenario." I knew I had to not give into failure, the kids must get their driver’s licenses, and I refused to drive them around while they are in college! So I changed the program, the goal was not to teach them to be good drivers it was to pass the test. Who cares if you can really drive or not, every day I am on the road with hundreds of people who can’t drive, have no idea how to use their turn signals, stay in the right hand lane so others can pass, yield to oncoming traffic, or stay in their lane. 
Suddenly my demise became less of a threat. I could look at this sistuation from a different point of view.  Despite having “cheated”, Kirk was awarded a commendation for "original thinking." My award for “original thinking”? Two kids who have their driver’s licenses, no more stomach ulcers, and insurance premiums that could fund a small country.
Failure? I think not! Kobayashi Maru passed!

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