SAT Scores: A Homeschooling Mom’s Validation

One of the greatest questions in life I believe is, “How do you know that you know?” This question applies to more than just “did I do a good job in educating my kids to succeed on an academic level”, but for my purposes today in writing this blog it’s going to apply to exactly that.

I do feel like this is a question that most people ask from a place of skepticism. They ask, how do I know that my kids know?  (Usually in a way that is accusatory at best). Wow that sounds really defensive, ok I am going to try not to go there. I am sure they ask strictly to see how I come to the conclusion that my children aren’t morons but really do know their stuff. 

I have been blessed with two very smart kids; I don’t think I can take a lot of credit for this since they both have had a lust for learning since they were very little. Garrett could carry on a conversation well before Lauren was born and Lauren was able to read by the time she was four years old. Was this due to my most amazing skills as a mother and nurturer or was this just good genetics? (Sean is somewhat of a genius you know)

I will admit when we first started home schooling the kids I was worried. I was very concerned with whether or not we would be able to “teach” them everything they needed to know. In school I wasn’t what you would call “academically focused”. I did all right but colleges weren’t exactly knocking down my door. Sean on the other hand was the scholar. He was totally equipped to make sure the kids knew their stuff so we decided this would be a team effort and he would be in charge of math and grammar. These were two subjects that I will admit are not my strong suit. We worked together to provided the kids with a well-rounded academic background. The curriculum we used was also very helpful, there were numerous tests and quizzes for the kids to take along the way that reassured us that they were understanding the material and retaining the information. When we moved to San Antonio there was a home school co-op that provided testing that let us know that they were right on track. Being the unbiased mother that I am, I could look around at the other children in our neighborhood and know we were doing ok. In fact, better than ok. This reassured me that all the work, planning, organizing and testing we were doing was paying off.

As the kids started high school I became even more concerned. Sean was now very busy with his job, we had moved to Phoenix and all the schooling fell on me. I have to say it is not by my own genius that we got through grammar and physics it was thanks to the fine people at ABeka and Saxon that did most of it. They make their curriculum so user-friendly that even a phonetically challenged, no spelling, equation hater can teach her kids (yes, I am referring to myself). 

So when it came time for the college boards I was even more nervous than the kids. How well would I do? Did I know enough math? Did I give them enough time to study? Did they remember all those grammar rules?  There is no way I can keep up with all those rules, and still have only a vague understanding of the difference between APA and MLA.  That’s right it was all about me. I knew the kids were smart but were they smart enough? Did I do everything possible to make sure they were well equipped to take on this challenge all on their own?

 My greatest fears were put to rest, I could breathe. The kids did great in spite of my lack of mathematical genius or grammatical skill. Lauren is still in the process of taking her SATs. Her goal is to do better than her brother (you have to love sibling rivalry). 

Failing as a Home school Parent

That’s right I have failed. Anyone who really knows me knows I hate to fail. I hate not being good at something, I am ok with not being the “best” but I will be good! Not being the best just gives me the drive to keep getting better. Call it “Little Lady Syndrome” (I love having a syndrome because then it looks le-git!), being a defeated first-born, or a closet Type-A personality. Failing isn’t an option!

Teaching the kids to drive has been my Kobayashi Maru: a no-win situation, designed to test my character. I have found my character to be less than stellar, choosing my own survival over the psyche of my children. 

I first realized my inept skills as a driver’s ed teacher while trying to teach Garrett how to drive. We barely made it out of the cal-du-sac when I told him he was going to either kill me or damage my car and to get out and let me drive. I continued through out Garrett’s learning period to approach every intersection, every driving scenario with the phrase, “who/what is going to kill you first?” I felt this got across how scared I was. Was I either going to be killed by him pulling out into traffic? Making a left hand turn, or by his reckless desideratum for driving too close to the curb? I wasn’t sure but I did want him to know that I entered the car envisioning my ambulance ride to the nearest hospital, my need for emergency surgery to possibly amputate an appendage, and how I was going to call into work to explain why I couldn’t come in. These thoughts flooded every moment of driving.

There was yelling and screaming (mostly me), there were tears, there were things said that I could never imagine my parents saying to me. What had happened to the sweet mother I use to be?

With Lauren it wasn’t much better. It was made worse because she was a witness to everything Garrett had to go through and still wasn’t a better driver. I was dumb struck! How was I going to do this again? Needless to say I failed again, my character weighed and still found wanting. What a horrible mother. I did try to be better. I tried to channel my dad would just sit in the passenger seat and twitch his finger one way or the other to let me know if I was starting to drift out of my lane. I tried to just give into the idea that emergency surgery wouldn’t be so bad, and that work would understand.

I have run the scenario over and over in my head, attempting to redefine the problem so this test will not end with my utter failure. Was it because we let them read too much? The kids were always reading whenever we drove somewhere, they never paid attention to where we were going, decisions we were making as we drove and how the car was suppose to stay in the lane. Was it because we live in a busy city, and not the two lane, one flashing light town I grew up in that I was so nervous? Or was it societies fault? Once cell  phones came into play the kids would be busy texting their friends etc…and since you can’t text and drive why not have mom and dad drive you everywhere so you don’t miss anything?

Just as Captain Kirk said, "I don't believe in the no-win scenario." I knew I had to not give into failure, the kids must get their driver’s licenses, and I refused to drive them around while they are in college! So I changed the program, the goal was not to teach them to be good drivers it was to pass the test. Who cares if you can really drive or not, every day I am on the road with hundreds of people who can’t drive, have no idea how to use their turn signals, stay in the right hand lane so others can pass, yield to oncoming traffic, or stay in their lane. 

Suddenly my demise became less of a threat. I could look at this sistuation from a different point of view.  Despite having “cheated”, Kirk was awarded a commendation for "original thinking." My award for “original thinking”? Two kids who have their driver’s licenses, no more stomach ulcers, and insurance premiums that could fund a small country.

Failure? I think not! Kobayashi Maru passed!