I think the most common question I get asked when people find out that we home school our kids is, “What made you decide to home school your kids?”. I have tried through the years not to get defensive or read too much into why they are asking.
People have different reasons they want to know. Some are curious as whether or not homeschooling would be something they want to do and are looking for a sort of validation to their reasoning to home school or not to home school. Some are looking for the kink in your armor…Your kids couldn’t cut it in real school, they were behavior problems, they were not intellectual enough, or you as a parent are a lazy slob who doesn’t want to be responsible for the life you brought into this world, by making him/her a productive member of society. Then there’s the one I really like: Are you part of some religious cult that thinks the whole world is evil and you are trying to be an overprotective, over zealous freak of a parent. (Ok so maybe I do still get a little defensive J.)
Sean and I didn’t start out homeschooling our kids, or maybe we didn’t realize we were homeschooling our kids all along…(I may have just blown my own mind, I need a minute to ponder this)
We had move to Melrose, NM when the kids were two and four years old. Sean had just gotten out of the military and taken on a full-time preaching job there. I had been able to stay home with the kids during the early years and we were constantly reading, singing, playing (sometimes with a purpose), and learning about the world around us. It was always an adventure seeing the world through the eyes of a two and four year old.
When it came time to send Garrett to Kindergarten we felt that we had prepared him adequately for the start of his educational journey. He knew his alphabet, he could write all of his letters and numbers. He had been an early talker so communication was not a problem of his. He was great at memorizing names and facts we knew this would be a piece of cake. J I still remember sitting there at Kindergarten orientation with Mrs. Nash who informed us that the kids would be learning Denalian handwriting with their phonics. Was she speaking some foreign language? What was d’nealian? Handwriting in Kindergarten? Phonics?! My head was spinning; I had failed Garrett right off the bat. We had spent all our time teaching him block letters not handwriting and what did I know about phonics? (Sean’s family still makes fun of me for the way I pronounce crayons). We immediately went up to Mrs. Nash afterwards to ask what we needed to get Garrett to where he needed to be, she smiled a kind smile and let us know that Garrett would be fine and we didn’t do any permanent damage.
Garrett did great in Kindergarten and here is where I am so glad that I was not responsible for teaching him phonics. While Garrett learned phonics I saw it as my opportunity to also learn something that I feel I had missed in my education, plus there was no way that we would let Lauren go off to Kindergarten so unprepared. When Garrett came home and informed me that “q” doesn’t make a sound without “u” my mind was blown. How is it that I have lived on this planet for 30 years and I never knew this?!
As Garrett started the first grade we decided to move to San Antonio, TX. Sean had been asked to take a preaching position there and it was also an opportunity to move closer to the grandparents. The congregation Sean preached at had a Christian school attached to it, so the kids could go to school right there where Sean was. They both did great. I do have to admit I wish Mrs. Nash would have done Lauren’s kindergarten but the teachers at Randolph Christian Academy were just as devoted to teaching the kids correct handwriting and phonics.
By the time the kids were in the first and third grade they were attending Christian Heritage in San Antonio. Garrett and Lauren had been early readers (and talkers). They were both so smart, we were very proud of them but also a little frustrated that we were driving 30 miles to take them to school now and the amount of homework that they would bring home after spending a full day school was a little overwhelming.
After the first couple of weeks of the third grade Garrett had informed me that he needed to go to the library to check out more books to read because he was getting bored in math class and needed something to do. I am sure the look on my face was priceless. “Why are you reading in math class?”, I asked. Garrett informs me that he finishes his work in the first 10-15 minutes of class and then just sits there. This really confused me.
We were also finding that even at a “Christian” school we had to deal with confusing situations for the kids. Why was it ok for ladies to lead prayers in the auditorium when there were more than enough men teaches who could be doing it, but not ok for them to do it during worship? There were several families who had enrolled their children in a “Christian” school because they had been kicked out of all the other public school systems. Then there were the doctrinal issues that sometimes came up. We did use these situations as teaching opportunities, but sometimes we wished that we didn’t have to fight these battles.
At a parent/teacher conference before the fall break we were sitting with Garrett’s teacher and asked her about why Garrett was allowed to read in math class instead of actually doing math. His teacher informed us that Garrett is really smart and is finishing before the other students and doesn’t have anything to do. Really?!
I then asked her why she can’t let him go ahead in his assignments and she said that he hadn’t been tested yet and that as soon as the next testing cycle came up they would try to get him into the “gifted and talented” class, meanwhile it’s ok if he reads. Well that was not ok with us. I asked if I needed to supply supplementary math work for him to do and she told me that wasn’t necessary either-I am pretty sure she thought we were out of our minds J. Pushy parents.
Then it was off to Lauren’s parent/teacher conference and her sweet little teacher is telling us that Lauren is having a hard time finishing her work, and is rushing to get done and her work is a little sloppy. I think she then realized that we didn’t take this lightly, Sean and I are both like, “oh we will get this straighten out ASAP!” She then starts to back peddle and explains that it is because Lauren is such a big help to all the other students. She is reading directions for them, cutting out their papers, telling them what they are doing incorrectly on their papers and then when the teacher says there is only 10 minutes left she realizes she hasn’t done her work and is now behind. We both look at each other and ask the teacher has she told Lauren to sit down and do her own work? She tells us that she hates to squelch that helpful spirit in children. (Are you kidding me?! )We tell her that we will talk to Lauren and to please tell Lauren to sit down and do her own work so this won’t be a problem.
All these things are building up and then the final straw is when instead of driving 30+ miles one way to take the kids to school for “movie-day” I decided that I would call the school, inform them that the kids would not be there and we were going to do our own movie day at home. The secretary at the school was very pleasant but then informed me that if the kids are not there for the school day, their attendance record could affect their grades. I explained to her that this wasn’t actually a school day that they were going to be watching movies and playing all day, why would I drive that far for just for that? She again was very pleasant when she told me that it was up to me that I was the one paying their tuition if I wanted to pull them out for the day I could, so I did.
Sean and I had a long discussion about homeschooling. It was going to have to be a team effort because we both worked full time and had obligations. Now we were going to take on the most important obligation-educating our children. We spent the rest of the fall term researching what we needed to do, how it would best work for us, and if it was worth it to pull them out in the middle of the school year. We decided yes, and have been going strong ever since.
I do remember it took about three months to get into a really good routine. Every time the kids told me, “That’s not the way Mrs. So-n-so does it.” I wanted to scream, “ I am not Mrs. So-n-so, I am your mother, suck it up and do it my way!” Pretty sure their teachers never spoke to them like that. J
So you see the answer to the question isn’t an easy one. There is no one reason, it was several reasons. None of the reasons are earth shattering or mind blowing; they are just “our” reasons. We have love homeschooling our kids, in spite of and despite of all the little hurtles and obstacles that have popped up from time to time.
